MUM’S VERSION.

Keeps a perfectly clean and tidy home.

Has neat, pristine children.

Serves healthy nutritious meals daily.

Reads a story every night to each child.

Helps with homework.

Grows her own vegetables.

Has fresh flowers in the house daily.

Watches favourite television programmes with their children and does not switch to the news.

Sews, knits and cooks perfectly.

Attends every single school event, belongs to the PTA and becomes a parent governor.

CHILD’S VERSION

Lets me choose my own clothes and shoes, knows its going to cost a bit, and doesn’t moan or make me choose a cheap version.

Listens to every problem with friends or school and comes up with amazingly wonderful solutions .

Takes me to theme parks or fun fairs once a week.

Is generous with pocket money.

Likes it when I’m stuck in watching television or playing the computer

Is not at all nosy, unless I want her to be.

Always looks fashionable and attractive, especially with me, in public.

Knows the latest chart songs and bands but disaproves enough to keep them interesting.

Is happy to give me a lift anywhere I want to go, at any time of day or evening.

Can’t cook so relies on take-aways and fast food bars.