The problem with tales whether from kids or well meaning (or even troublemaking) friends is that once they have told me I then have to take action or have a perfectly clear conscience when choosing not to take any action.

For example, one of the kids tells me the other has smashed a casserole dish. Well I’m not thrilled but accidents happen and I have my fair share, but if I am too casual when I say it doesn’t matter, does that then incite everyone in the household to be reckless with crockery? Will I have kids hurling plates merrily to each other across the kitchen with a ‘catch, Mum doesn’t mind’ CRASH! ‘Oops, oh well there’s three more in the cupboard,’ attitude for the rest of their childhood?

But, is it fair to respond when the news has come through a child telling tales rather than the culprit owning up? Especially as the tale was told almost immediately giving them no chance to wrestle with their conscience and do this. Will the casserole smasher feel that things are more unfair because I can’t say never mind at least you owned up, although I could say, well I know you would have owned up even though deep down I think they’d probably wrap it and pack it in a carrier and take it out to the dustbins and one day I’d be needing it and hunting the kitchen high and low and it would not turn up then, or ever and become one of life’s missing thing mystery’s. Whatever happens now I know I have to respond, and in a way which discourages both casserole smashing and tale telling. If nobody had told me, I wouldnt have the dilemma!

A friend keeps hinting she has some hot news about some mutual friends of ours, one of whom is having an affair with someone else we both know. She is desperate to engineer a moment away from kids and waggling ears so she can tell me and I am equally desperate not to know while at the same time being incredibly curious to know. The trouble is once I know I become a party to the information and then it is the conscience, action thing again. Would I want to know if it were me? How would i feel if I had a partner who was cheating and friends knew and never told me? All these questions spin around so if I don’t act I know I’ll be mortified with guilt and if I do act I could wreck their lives anyway. It’s far nicer to live in ignorant bliss with some unsatisfied curiousity than to cope with all this brain ache!

The trouble is once I know, I know and it can never be taken back and although I can pretend I don’t know, deep down I know, I know. Aaaaargh!