Going out for one night and finding that the gorgeous hunk you snogged is actually a black toothed sniggering lout who calls you love and burps a lot is bad enough but having a rose tinted view of a partner in a longer term relationship is far worse.

You forever see them as you believe they are and want them to be. You find umpteen excuses for the way they let you down, time and time again. You find that the miserable times far outweigh the happy times but persist in the hope that they need you, you can help them and it will get better.

You spend most of the time discussing their needs, their problems, their issues, but would they spend so much time and effort on you? Try discuss your own issues, problems and needs and see how quickly they divert the conversation back to theirs.

You have lost so much self esteem in the process of gradual disillusionment that you don’t have the energy to see that no relationship is worth so much work for so little reward.

The weird thing is that so many people would rather superimpose the ideal person in their head onto the selfish egotistical pig they are with, than be alone.