A late card arrives from somebody that you forgot to send one to.

You buy new shoes in the sales and take them back because they are too tight or uncomfortable.

You have a huge row with your partner.

Your meals consist of turkey sandwiches, turkey risotto, turkey pie, turkey pasta and turkey soup.

All your hangovers merge into one.

Somebody confides in you when they have had one too many, and puts you in some kind of moral dilemma.

You have to change an item of clothing which is too small.

The outfit you planned to wear at the New Year party is too tight.

Newspapers regurgitate the diet plan they use every year, dressing it in a ‘new diet’ disguise.

You buy a paper or magazine purely on the strength of the exciting New Year horoscopes featured on the front cover.

You either get no invitations and feel like Billy No-mates; or two or three so you have the dilemma of which one to go to, (or which to go to last, should you go to them all) to see the New Year in.

You watch cheesy television films that you would normally never watch, and actually enjoy them.

Being a single parent at Christmas means doing double work, double presents, double magic and atmosphere, mega food and (trying) to keep a Christmassy mood throughout the season. 

 This is despite little money, disapproving ex-inlaws, well meaning but useless nerd of a boyfriend, greedy fat lump of a dog, difficult teenager and tweenager (almost worse than the teenager) and hopeful idealistic child who were he in a film would spread joy and bonhomie but who actually irritates everyone with his Pollyanna attitude.

Just wrapping and hiding the presents takes stealth, thought and the energy to wait until nobody is around or awake- usually the wee small hours.

Making sure the house is clean for visitors (ex-in laws especially) was supposed to be a joint effort but everyone else is so busy that they don’t get round to their bit on the rota and rushing around trying to cover it all at the last minute while swearing quietly rather than out loud so as not to ruin obligatory Christmassy mood is added to an increasing list of ‘dos.’

Festive patience is tested to the limit by pasting on a smile when ex-hubby promises a trip to the pantomime on top of his incredibly flash, useless OTT presents which far outshine anything else the children will get for the entire year apart from when he repeats the exercise on their birthdays. 

Boyfriend goes drinking with his mates on Christmas eve; in fact there are many parties and socials in December which are impossible to get a sitter for, but he goes to most of them anyway.

But on Christmas morning there are the little sniggering whispers of children creeping in with lukewarm tea and black toast and marmalade. Little lumpy gifts tied with love are offered with hope-you-think-it’s-fantastic eyes.  

Then there are the silly jokes and giggles, stupid hats, funny dog presents, cheesy TV films of impossible families, walks, argumentative games, shared feasts, hugs and kisses which inhabit a Christmas that turns out to be perfect.

May the great turkey of joy land on your table. A very Merry Christmas to you and yours!

A great video about pets anticipating Christmas. Enjoy!

Tried this once but the kids said “what’s coal ?” with that disparaging ‘Mum’s so old fashioned’ look on their faces. Next time I said it would be a sack full of pine cones but they pointed out that they’re out of season. After saying it would be a sack full of snow and getting a cheerful “yay,” I gave up. Now I just threaten to stay up partying all night so he can’t find a moment to sneak in and deliver the presents,(realistic and it works a treat!”)

Susan Sangster has amassed 18 million through three divorces and is now after another huge fortune from her fourth.

Why is it that as a result of marriage somebody can take a slice of a fortune that was built for many years before the relationship? Why do people risk marriage when on the strength of a short relationship they can lose half of everything they have worked their lives to accumulate?

Where is the pride of women or men who would rather walk away with money than dignity?

Surely it is fair, only to make a claim on what has been accumulated together during the life of the relationship and then to (both) provide for the children.

Unfortunately seems to be far more common for women to get a huge payout from their ex- husbands which means that men still feel that women are dependant on them. It is humiliating for those of us that don’t expect men to provide for us in or out of a relationship.

So Susan, Heather Mills and all you other parasites, PLEASE STOP MAKING WOMANKIND LOOK FEEBLE AND MAKE DO WITH YOUR OWN MONEY!

I would say sod his money and walk away with dignity knowing that I do not need to depend on an ex for any part of my future and in fact I would rather sleep in a box than do so.

What price love when pride goes out the window at the last.

I love glitter too. In fact one year (on an old car) I put glue on the bonnet the boot and the roof and then sprinkled silver glitter on it. Admittedly I had had a drink or two and was inspired by the beauty of a frosty night!!

Going out for one night and finding that the gorgeous hunk you snogged is actually a black toothed sniggering lout who calls you love and burps a lot is bad enough but having a rose tinted view of a partner in a longer term relationship is far worse.

You forever see them as you believe they are and want them to be. You find umpteen excuses for the way they let you down, time and time again. You find that the miserable times far outweigh the happy times but persist in the hope that they need you, you can help them and it will get better.

You spend most of the time discussing their needs, their problems, their issues, but would they spend so much time and effort on you? Try discuss your own issues, problems and needs and see how quickly they divert the conversation back to theirs.

You have lost so much self esteem in the process of gradual disillusionment that you don’t have the energy to see that no relationship is worth so much work for so little reward.

The weird thing is that so many people would rather superimpose the ideal person in their head onto the selfish egotistical pig they are with, than be alone.

I saw this list here:

You have the right to be you.
You have the right to put yourself first.
You have the right to be safe.
You have the right to love and be loved.
You have the right to be treated with respect.
You have the right to be human - NOT PERFECT.
You have the right to be angry and protest if you are treated unfairly or abusively by anyone.
You have the right to your own privacy.
You have the right to your own opinions, to express them, and to be taken seriously.
You have the right to earn and control your own money.
You have the right to ask questions about anything that affects your life.
You have the right to make decisions that affect you.
You have the right to grow and change (and that includes changing your mind).
You have the right to say NO.
You have the right to make mistakes.
You have the right NOT to be responsible for other adults’ problems.
You have the right not to be liked by everyone.
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO CONTROL YOUR OWN LIFE AND TO CHANGE IT IF YOU ARE NOT HAPPY WITH IT AS IT IS.

It’s the best Christmas list, and the saddest.

Hello Everybody,

Christmas is coming around yet again (as it does) and we knew you’d love to hear all about our year. (Even if you wouldn’t it’s tough, because we are sending this to acquaintances, ex-work colleagues, long lost relations, anyone who has ever known us for longer than a day)

Ben has done very well at school (he turned up every day.) He has been concentrating on his music (playing it loudly too late and too often) and we have great hopes that he will do something with it. (turn it down!)

Chloe won a prize for literature (well, for the best limerick in her class.) She has taken up acting and is extremely good. (Especially when pretending she’s ill every time she wants to skip school or get out of helping around the house.)

Timmy has achieved his five lengths at swimming and is very proud of this. (Throwing it into the conversation daily.) As ever, he is devoted to our wonderful (fat) Labrador Fubby and is very responsible in the way he cares for her. (Apart from letting her eat anything she fancies even if it was intended for the family meal.)

We have done home improvements (rearranged the furniture) so things are looking great in time for Christmas. The garden is lovely and a real haven of peace and tranquillity. (Somewhere to get away from the kids even although it’s a jungle.)

The office temp work i am still doing, ensures I am around for the kids after school and in the holidays. (Hugely annoying for Ben.) I am hoping to do an access course and start a degree before long. (Copied and pasted from last five annual round robins.)

Gary and I are still together (just) but don’t think it will be fair on the kids (he doesn’t want to commit) to live together. (Copied and pasted from last three round robins.)

Still we are all very happy (in an argumentative way,) and are looking forward to a lovely family Christmas. (Well at least one that does not involve Fubby or Timmy being sick, the ex-in-laws visiting more than once or one of the presents breaking on Christmas day.)

Wishing you all a very happy Christmas (and hoping your ’round robin’ can’t trump this!)

Debbie, Ben, Chloe, Sam and Fubby.