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I’ve just listened to an audio book the Ex-Wife’s Survival Guide by Debby Holt. It was very funny in parts but the heroine ended up with another man, which is a total cop out, given the title of the book.
I am not opposed to a happy endings or romance, but the story was about a woman who had a traditional housewife type role, having to reassess her life when her rat of a partner found someone else. She started to gain independence and develop confidence as an individual, so why was the ending woman finds man, and not woman learns that independence and freedom make her so happy that any future relationship is a bonus?
There was I thinking ‘yea this woman is becoming strong and independent’ then not only does she almost melt into coupledom as the result of a holiday romance but succumbs to a kiss that should have been in a Mills and Boon
It’s similar to soaps or dramas with great storylines headed by a nasty character who suddenly gets killed or conveniently disappears so that two weeks down the track they are barely ever spoken of despite all the havoc they caused. It always irritates me to death because I want to see the victim bringing them to book and dealing with the fallout rather thank knowing that they have died and escaped justice. In my opinion this is sloppy writing; as bad as ‘they woke up and it was all a dream.’
Fat is good insulation in winter.
Saving the expense of buying new slimmer clothes.
Fatter people are more cheerful.
Cuddling is less bony.
Maintaining big boobs.
Friends are more friendly when you are not slimmer than them.
Sitting comfortably. There is nothing worse than a bony butt on a pew at a carol service.
According to all the stores, Christmas is practically here anyway.
The basketball posts in the school playground have foam jackets around them so that children won’t bang into them and hurt themselves. Football boots may be banned because of the spikes. Conkers can only be played with a helmet and safety visor. Signs such as ‘Mind the Step’ or ‘Watch your Head’ surround us and safety tape lines every possibly dangerous edge. Dangers and risks are being discovered every day, and appropriate safety measures put in place. Those pending implementation are as follows:-
Black and yellow safety tape along the kerb of all paths, (so you don’t trip or invadvertently fall into the road.)
Wet Ground signs placed next to puddles.
Foam jackets on tree trunks.
Holly, rose bushes and other pointy plants to be stamped with warning triangles and nettles to be made illegal.
‘Danger, the ground will feel hard if you fall’ signs at intervals along pavements, in stores, and in the countryside.
A fire extinguisher must be located next to the displays of matches, in all stores.
Fluorescent jackets to be worn by everyone outdoors after 4.30pm in winter.
Hard hats to be worn when walking in the woods (in case of falling pine cones, horse chestnuts or twigs.)
Warning signs that if you push a door with a ‘pull’ sign, or pull a door with a ‘push’, sign; you may jar your shoulder.
‘Warning there is a danger sign ahead’ signs a few metres before danger signs (so people are spared the sudden stress that fear of danger causes) In fact all signs warning that there is something ahead will have a sign a few yards beforehand warning of the fact that there is a sign ahead, and of course another one to warn of that one…..
This is all because it will soon be illegal to die.
It’s nice to be told that you are pretty and smart but the trick is to tell it to yourself every day. Then you have to believe it, and that is sometimes a bit harder! Once achieved though, you will feel as though you can do ANYTHING and secure in your own skin, won’t care too much what other people think! Though of course you’ll still be delighted if they think good things.
Whoever thought up the particular torture of bikini waxing probably suggested it as a joke.
see Alpha Mummy’s Lady hair: a full, frank and furry discussion.Then someone took it seriously and like the Emporer in the story who was so convinced he was wearing fancy costly garments instead of standing naked, that he got everyone else except a small boy, to suspend their disbelief (The Emporer’s New Clothes;) women have been sucked into having this torment committed and (ha!) actually paying for it.
I feel for pubescent girls. Not only do they discover the misery of periods whilst told that it is a natural part of growing up, but they are then told that their bodily hair is not natural and they should regularly erase it. Talk about confusing them.
Today’s headline is ’Can Your Diet Make You Young?’ WHAT NOW?
Dieting now makes us young? Great! but all the worrying about all the things I shouldn’t be eating and should be doing has aged me so i’ve just broken even!
I spend extra time buying and paying for vitamins when the time and money would probably do me more good splashed on a holiday.
I spend ages reading ingredients to check that rubbish has not been added. There is something seriously wrong when we accept that to eat healthily we have to edit our foods.
Everything we eat and drink eventually seems to have some kind of health scare attached to it so that the worry will kill us if the foods don’t.
I realised recently that it is the multipacks and BOGOF offers in supermarkets that makes shopping take ten times longer than originally planned, and it’s not because I want the offers.
When I want a single item that is only sold in multi packs or offered on a BOGOF basis it doesn’t matter too much if I end up with extra toilet rolls or cereal that will get used at some point. However when I fancy one packet of crisps, one piece of cake, a fresh baked cookie or a can of my favourite fizzy pop, I don’t want the rest sitting temptingly in the kitchen cupboards!
Either I have to do without, buy them and resist temptation until the family eats or drinks them or buy them when I am meeting a friend/friends so that I can share them out.
This means I don’t end up buying the treats I really like because I have to ensure that others will like them because if they don’t then I will end up eating or drinking them!
It must be murder to be living alone because you can’t even buy stuff you quite like, knowing that others will polish it off.
Some enterprising soul needs to start a single portion supermarket where you just get money off single items – in the old days it was called a bargain.
TV adverts are cheesy, sexist and patronizing. Although I hate the political correctness gone barmy brigade, I cannot believe that companies still broadcast so many women in kitchen roles.After years of ‘so called’ equality we are still suffering stereotypical Mums chattering inanely about childrens’ lunchbox treats, serving up sweet corn to little boys or waxing lyrical over washing powders. Men who do domestic tasks in adverts do it in an arch helpful way as though they are doing a favour ‘for’ their partner,because it is hers and not their responsibility. Today a major superstore put out an advert for toys which included a dance mat and a remote control truck. They actually specified that the dance mat would be an ‘ideal present for girls’ while showing a girl dressed up in party clothes, using the mat, and ‘the truck for boys’ as a boy rolled it along. Not only was I put off both products but also the entire store. The ads certainly did not impress my kids either. Having said that, most adverts featuring kids don’t impress kids. They always cast shiny bouncy, cheerful kids who act about three years younger than their actual age. I’ve never met a real child that looks or acts like one in an advertisement. Then there are the ‘lets patronize the older generation’ ads, especially the hair colouring one where an older woman’s asks if it would do her ‘little bit of grey,’ and her smiley brunette daughter simpers , ‘Yes Mum’.Double glazing, cars, carpets, sofas and settees always feature ‘amazing offers’ ‘never to be repeated deals’ and ask you to ‘visit their store ‘now!’ The actors talks in loud, hyperactive, urgent voices which would be brilliant on an alarm clock for a heavy sleeper. On ads they just make you feel tense and irritable as though there was a buzzing bluebottle or mosquito in the room. The worrying thing is that there are people all over the country who are responding to these ads, or they would not be using them. Who are you? Please seek help.
‘I don’t want to say anything but I think you ought to know….’
Always say ‘well don’t then;’ loudly, at that point. Trust me you will never want to know.
It is almost always the beginning of somebody trying to land somebody else in it, because if they don’t want to say something then why the heck are they?
At work if you are the line manager it will be one colleague trying to grass on another.
With friendships it will either be a friend telling you that another friend has been gossiping about you or worse, that your partner has been playing away.
With colleagues or friends at school it will be something your child has done.
With neighbours it will be gossip about another neighbour.
You can be sure it will never be positive because nobody ever starts positive news with that particular sentence.
‘I don’t want to say anything but Jenny has just passed her driving test.’
‘I don’t want to say anything but Mickey is going to give his family a dream holiday’
Adults have not progressed from childhood, they are just less honest about it. At least kids come straight out and ‘tell!’ ‘Mum Bobby’s been hitting me, ‘ or ‘Miss, Ginnie’s copying Alex,’ and you can bet that if they don’t want to ‘tell’ they won’t!
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