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We can sit on a hard chair in comfort.

Large bottomed mothers attend more school plays and functions leading to greater self esteem in their children.

Committees where the majority consists of large bottomed females get more done because they extend the meeting time by approximately one hour.

Big bottomed women attend church regularly. (Although churches are now starting to provide pew cushions to encourage smaller bottomed individuals to attend.)

Alien invaders communicate with that part of our body first – and are pleased with the intelligent response.

We can still look slim and gorgeous…from the front.

We have no need of an extra float when learning to swim.

Pickpockets, who steal up from behind, can’t get close enough to get their hands in our bag or pocket.

Men want to be the one behind, when forming a train at parties.

Nobody expects us to ride a bicycle.

Nobody seriously expects us to wear a thong (without it being mislaid for days.)

It breaks our fall if we drink too much at parties (when young) or tumble downstairs (when older) Learning to fall properly on a big bum can be a life-saver for ladies over sixty with brittle bones.

‘Does my bum look big in this?’ Is the perfect lie detector. If he lies about that can we ever trust him again?

Behind every great woman is a big bum. (But when he leaves she can at least sit down in comfort!)