Ben has just told a rude joke and Chloe and Timmy are giggling. They are all finding it funnier because they are not sure if (a) I heard it, (b) I got it, and (c) if I did get it whether I might be just about to tell Ben off.

It was quite funny and quite rude so I don’t know whether to (a) pretend I didn’t hear it, (b) pretend I didn’t get it, (C) tell Ben off, or (D) try and remember it to tell friends when we next go out. I pretend I didn’t hear it, because option D would make me into a hypocrite if I told him off. However I know I won’t use option D, as I can never remember jokes. Occasionally I have got the punch line so wrong it’s made people laugh far more than the original joke would have.

Female friends I know aren’t great at telling jokes but Gary, along with my brothers and most male friends can reel them off, never forgetting a punch line.

There is definitely a difference between the male and female memory.

Gary remembers car manufacturers, football scores, obscure DIY tools he needs and things his Mum cooked when he was eight. He forgets the number of beers he’s drunk, where he’s put anything he’s ever had, what I wanted for Christmas and (when his mobile battery is dead) my phone number.

I remember things like feeding the dog, feeding the children even, gossip, first loves, birthdays and how to get chewing gum out of hair, but forget what I went to get, when I arrive in Timmy’s bedroom, the main item I went I into the supermarket for and the fact that when my ex mother-in-law visits, she always looks in my fridge and finds dishes of bacteria and prehistoric cheese.

It would be interesting to swap my memory for his just for one day, then I’d (A) find out if there was really such a thing as a double worm screw, (B) if his Mum was really such a great cook, and (C) what he thinks I want for Christmas!